So last night Gabriel kept waking up right as I was trying to put him back down. He was NOT interested in sleeping and just kept looking at me with those huge blue eyes that take up most of his tiny face. Even in my exhausted sleep deprived state while I sat up with him I had an epiphany.
My epiphany was this. I have been all upset about this bells palsy, and the WAY worse stretch marks than I had with Elise, and just feeling fat and lumpy and in general unattractive in every way but as I looked in to those sweet innocent adoring eyes it occurred to me that he is sooooooooooooo worth it. I whined about having him with no pain meds and all the complications and trouble I had with the pregnancy but if I had to do it all over again I would, and I guess that is obvious because I had another after Elise. With Elise I puked EVERYTHING I ate up for the first month and after that I puked 4 times a day every day for at least 3 months but she is so precious and she brightens my day so much that I did it again.
My dad told me the other day about an interview he had seen with Jillian Michaels ( she is the mean girl trainer from Biggest Looser) and she had said that she is never having kids cause she is afraid she will loose her awesome body and never get it back. But the thing she isnt realizing (beside how incredibly selfish she is) is that she wont have that body forever anyway and when the "hot" body is gone she will be alone and not have any children. I have yet to find anything that I love so much in the world as my children I just feel sorry for people who are to selfish to appreciate the children they have or to selfish to have them they dont know what they are missing. I feel even more sorry for the people who want to have children and cant and they know (as much as you can know without having them) what they are missing.People who have abortions just dont realize what an increadible gift they are throwing away, destroying and murdering.
The greatest feeling in the world is when my daughter wakes me up in the morning with a hug and a kiss and a " I wub you mommy" or when she greats me at the door after I've been gone with a " mommy!" and a big hug and a " I missed you mommy" Or when my son cries until it is ME that holds him and he then starts his favorite activity looking at me with this " I am in love" look and holding my hand. Nobody will ever love you like your child.
Those little ones are lucky to have you mothering them, Nancy! I am having fun watching little Elise grow up and now we have that darling Gabriel, too, to enjoy! You wrote a lovely piece here about your feelings which will be nice to share with your children when they are old enough to understand. Preserving memories are definately worth the time and the effort!
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